I just received the following question:
“How do you communicate with your spouse when everytime you talk to them, they accuse you of yelling at them? Then once that happens they don’t hear anything you say after that.”
I believe that communication is important but can be very tricky because the way we deliver messages makes a big difference in the end result. Not very many people are fans of yelling, and they tend to ‘tune the yelling out’ (and won’t hear anything that is said after that); it is better to speak calmly in this case.
You may not even be aware that you are yelling. If your spouse says that you are yelling, that is the way it is being received from his/her end. Isn’t it better that your spouse be honest with you? It may be worth it to think about it and pay attention to the level of your voice, or ask your spouse to let you know when he/she thinks you are yelling (then you can better understand your spouse’s perspective).
Keep the communication going! The relationship makes it worth it!
PLEASE NOTE: This is not an outlet for professional therapy services. If you are having a medical or psychological emergency, please call 9-1-1 or go to your local emergency room immediately. I do not offer emergency services. This website is for information purposes only; it is not meant to diagnose, treat or cure.